The Right Hand of Long-Term Happiness
It’s probably about time I give an overview of The Right Hand of Long-Term Happiness. The Right Hand represents all Six Needs that one must work on filling for a sense of satisfaction. I call it Long-Term Happiness because filling the needs can sometimes feel like a slog in the short-term: pursuing a degree, laying the foundation for a supportive relationship with a spouse/partner, developing healthy eating habits… These are the sorts of journeys that can be extremely challenging in the short-term, but once you’ve put in the effort and see the hard work start to pay off, I promise you will feel happier as long as you are achieving some balance amongst all six needs.
The six needs are based on Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, with the first being my own addition:
Autonomy — We need to feel like we have some control in our lives. Autonomy needs are represented by your palm because autonomy is foundational. If you do not have any agency in your life, you may not have the power to fill the other five needs. Autonomy also includes hope because those who are feeling hopelessness and despair feel like they do not have the control to improve a situation.
Physiological — Our bodies have certain requirements to perform at an optimal level. This goes beyond food, water, clean air, exercise, and rest. It also includes avoiding certain toxins and noxious environments (e.g. recreational drugs, noise pollution, etc.), keeping your body at the right temperature, regular touch of a warm body (could be a pet), a healthy microbiome, and so on. Your thumb represents your physiological needs: we can survive without our thumbs, but the ability to grip with our thumbs makes almost all jobs easier. Similarly, we can meet our other five needs without adequate rest, nutrition, etc., but operating at our optimal physiological level makes it much easier to fill our other five needs.
Safety — You’ll know your safety needs are not being met if you are experiencing acute or chronic stress, fear, or anxiety. Though the stress response has a physiological component, I consider this a separate need because often there is a larger mental component (our minds can inflate the perceived danger such that the phsyiological response is not proportional to the trigger). Safety is represented by the index finger because “Safety First!”
Growth — Your growth needs are fulfilled by having a sense of meaning or purpose in your life, by being challenged, and by overcoming those challenges. Growth is represented by the middle finger, your tallest finger, because growth is about working to reach your highest potential.
Social — Your social needs are varied and include both deep and casual relationships and feeling like you are part of a community (or many communities). Ultimately we need to feel seen, heard, and understood, so communication and belongingness are key parts of our social needs. Our social needs are represented by the ring finger because rings are often used to signify love, commitment, and family ties.
Esteem — We all need to feel like we have value to the world around us. We need to feel like our strengths outweigh our flaws or weaknesses. Therefore, our esteem needs not only require that we be treated with dignity and respect by others, but also that we be recognized for our successes and that we are not overwhelmed with guilt or shame for our failures. Our esteem needs are represented by the pinkie, which, when held up alone is the letter I in American Sign Language. I, me, am the center of my universe, and I want everyone to recognize my importance!
You might experience obstacles getting in the way of your fulfillment of one of these needs and be annoyed by the obstacle. However, when you start to become truly unhappy it’s usually because you’re experiencing a major Blocker that is impacting more than one need. Think about the times you’ve been most unhappy in your life. How many of the Six Needs were going unmet?